save-the-date :: etiquette

So what’s proper etiquette for save-the-date cards? See some common questions below, or email us, and we’ll do our best to get you an answer!

Why should I send save-the-date cards?

When do I send out save-the-date cards?

Who should I send them to?

How should I address save-the-dates, if only certain members of a household are going to be invited to the wedding?

I don’t want to invite children to the wedding. Should I say that on the save-the-dates?

Can I include hotel information for out of town guests?

What if something changes, or we have to cancel the wedding after the save-the-date cards go out?

Why should I send save-the-date cards?    Back to Top
If your wedding is going to be in a location other than the city in which most of your guests live, then a save-the-date card lets them know that they will need to make travel arrangements. If your wedding will be over a holiday weekend (such as Memorial Day, or the weekend after Thanksgiving), then a save-the-date card will alert your guests that they’ll need to reserve that weekend for your wedding.

When do I send out save-the-date cards?    Back to Top
Generally, if yours is a destination wedding, or your wedding will take place in a location other than the city in which most of your guests live, it’s a good idea to send a save-the-date card as early as 6 months before the date of y our wedding. This is also true of couples whose wedding will fall on a holiday weekend, as holidays are often planned far in advance to allow for travel. For international guests, it is a good idea to send save-the-dates this early, as mailing times are often much higher for mail sent to foreign countries. If your wedding will take place near where the majority of your guests live, then approximately 3 months before the wedding date is plenty of time. *Keep in mind that it is vital to have a final draft of your guest list before sending out your save-the-dates. You don’t want to send a save-the-date card to someone who will not be invited to the wedding!

Who should I send them to?    Back to Top
Send your save-the-date cards to everyone on your guest list. If you have an A list and a B list, send them only to those on your A list.

How should I address save-the-dates, if only certain members of a household are going to be invited to the wedding?    Back to Top
If you are only going to invite a few members of a single household, it is best to list exactly who is invited on the envelope. See the example below.

The Doe family has 6 members, but the two youngest children will not be invited to the wedding.
Address the save-the-date envelope as follows:

I don’t want to invite children to the wedding. Should I say that on the save-the-dates?    Back to Top
It’s really up to you. If you’re sending travel and hotel information in your save-the-date, it may be a good idea to include information for babysitting services or recommended babysitters with a note that children will not be invited to the wedding. Otherwise, you can leave that information off the save-the-date card, and discuss the situation with guests who have children over the telephone. You may also address the issue by adding a line to your invitation which reads “Adult Reception.”

Can I include hotel information for out of town guests?    Back to Top
Absolutely! In fact, the save-the-date card is probably the best place to include that information, as it allows your guests to begin planning to attend your wedding right away in making their travel arrangements. Some designs lend themselves to including this information, while others will do better to have the travel information printed on the back or on a separate sheet.

What if something changes, or we have to cancel the wedding after the save-the-date cards go out?    Back to Top
If something changes, such as the location of the reception, after the save-the-date cards go out, you can do a couple of things. First, you can send a second card out, indicating that the venue has changed, and to please make a note of the new location and address. This card could be either a hand-written note, or a simple printed card which matches your original save-the-date cards. The second option is to include a note calling attention to the change in venue with the actual invitation when it is sent out. If the wedding is called off entirely or postponed indefinitely after the save-the-date cards have gone out, then you should send out a printed card stating simply “Mr and Mrs. John Doe regret that the wedding of their daughter, Jane Marie to Mr. Jack Smith has been postponed [cancelled].” If you are not comfortable giving a reason (such as illness, or a death in the family, for example), simply omit it entirely. You may also telephone each guest to inform them of the postponement or cancellation.